


What's the Difference?

by SoliRavioli



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Ice Cream, Mentioned Zak Ahmed, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut, it's really just the dream team talking about the difference between prostitute and prostate, no the person who asked genuinely did not know the difference, yes this is a real conversation i've had with my family before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26947135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoliRavioli/pseuds/SoliRavioli
Summary: “Do you guys know the difference between a prostate and a prostitute?”
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 335





	What's the Difference?

**Author's Note:**

> this whole fic was based off of an actual conversation i had with my family the other day. it's not meant to be treated seriously, and the whole thing with skeppy and bbh was just to include the prostitute part of the prostate prostitute bit. if either parties ever mention they're uncomfortable with these types of fics, i'll take it down.
> 
> also i have plenty of weird conversations i remember from that car trip so i might consider writing another one of these just for the hell of it

“Do you guys know the difference between a prostate and a prostitute?”

“I’m sorry, _what?_ ” Dream glanced over his shoulder from his seat in the front of the car at Sapnap, who sat in the back along with a few bags and such from their shopping trip to the mall earlier that day. The black haired man held a somewhat small sundae from the custard place they had just pulled out of. George sat in the passenger seat next to Dream, holding his own vanilla concrete, with an expression that could only be described as pure disappointment.

“I’m serious.” Sapnap took a large spoonful of his sundae and slipped the spoon into his mouth. Chunks of apple and crust sunk below the whipped cream on top as the ice cream slid further down into the cup. “Isn’t a prostate something you put up your ass?”

George let out a heavy sigh and stabbed his spoon into his slowly melting concrete. “No, Sapnap, it’s not-” The Brit was interrupted by a large wheeze coming from the seat next to him. The brown haired man looked over to see Dream leaning over the driving wheel, practically gasping for air.

“A prostate is- is-” Another wheeze escaped the man as Sapnap rose an eyebrow in genuine confusion. “I mean, it’s certainly an easy place to get cancer,” George muttered. The comment wasn’t left unnoticed by Dream who continued to wheeze like he was about ready to be pulled off the stove. “A prostate is,” The blonde haired gasped, “ _inside_ of your ass, not something you shove up it.”

Sapnap ate another bite of his sundae and began to chew thoughtfully. “Okay, then what the hell is a prostitute? Skeppy mentioned it the other day when Bad was getting kinda touchy. Something like “some people pay for that shit.”

The car was filled with nothing but Dream’s laughter and George’s desperate want to find new friends. “Sapnap, please do not make me explain what prostitution is to you.” The man in question leaned forward in his seat and gave his friend a small pout. “C’mon, Gogy, I just wanna know.” George couldn’t help but roll his eyes at both the nickname and the entire conversation in general. “You’re a grown man, just look it up.”

“Oh, you’re right, I could do that.”

It was almost like a tea kettle exploded inside of Dream. His laughter quickly grew contagious as George found himself struggling to keep a straight face. “Dream, it’s honestly not even that funny-” A large snicker escaped him and his half eaten sundae fought to stay upright in his palm.

There was silence for a few moments, save for Dream desperately trying to recover the use of his lungs, before a low “ohhhhh” sounded from the backseat of the car.

“Okay, so I know the difference now. The question now is- who do I go to when I have prostate cancer?”

“Sapnap!” A sound close to a sob escaped from the blonde haired man as he tried to stay in the right lane. “What? You mentioned that it was easy to get, so who do I tell when it feels like I’m giving birth inside of my ass?”

George gave up on withholding his laughter as he was forced to place his concrete inside the drink holder next to him. “I think it’s called a urologist or something like that,” he sputtered in between cackles. “No, that’s for your urine,” Dream cut in, causing himself and the other boys to laugh spontaneously.

“They might be the same thing, you dumbass!” George frowned, but his facial expression was quickly reversed as the blonde haired man continued to laugh. “A urologist is for your urine, and a anologist is for your, you know, anus.” Dream’s tone quickly turned serious as he shifted his gaze onto the road in front of them. “Never speak those words again to me, George,” he whispered, causing the Brit to cackle.

“Oh, okay. So, let me see…” Sapnap’s face was illuminated by his phone screen as he typed something into the search bar. His sundae sat forgotten in between the talk about prostates and giving out sex for money. “Prostate exam… on… Wednesday…”

“How would you even ask to get a prostate exam anyways? Like, do you just call in and ask for a dick appointment and they ask if you want to check your asshole too?”

“Now that you mention it, I think Skeppy mentioned something about a dick appointment the other day too.”

The car practically fucking exploded.


End file.
